“Who sits in solitude and is quiet has escaped from three wars: hearing, speaking, seeing: yet against one thing shall he continually battle: that is, his own heart.”
The Effect of Solitude
The liturgy in the small chapel had just ended. I had wandered in late and was unfamiliar with anyone there. A few parishioners remained in their pews, alone and silent. The pew I sat in creaked loudly. In the silence, the noise was deafening. “Oh, no!” I thought, “What will they think of all this racket I have made?!?” Hopefully, I didn’t disturb or offend someone. I hope they don’t judge me!”
My anxiety over how I was perceived helped to highlight just how much I compare myself with others. I did not want anyone to think poorly of me. In this moment of surrounded solitude, my heart was exposed. Spending time distinctly alone serves to highlight all the ways my heart looks for another source to bring stability.
Have you ever sat alone? Or perhaps felt the isolating sting of loneliness? Loneliness can lead to self-pity, which in turn brings sorrow, and eventually despondency. Loneliness is not alone-ness. The discipline of solitude highlights our need to be surrounded, and how much we constantly are. Solitude teaches us to be comfortable just being with ourselves.
There is a story about three monks told by some early church fathers. One monk spent time reconciling broken relationships, another spent time visiting the sick, and the third retired to the desert to live in solitude.
The first two, having been overwhelmed with their work, decided to visit the third to see how he was getting on. When the three were together, the monk in solitude poured some water into a bowl. The other two watched him devoutly. Initially, the water was in turmoil, but as the dish sat undisturbed, the water settled. When the other two looked into the water they noticed their own reflections. The third monk used the moment to teach the other two about solitude: “He who abides in the midst of men: because of the turbulence, he sees not his sins: but when he hath been quiet, above all in solitude, then does he recognize his own default.”
Solitude helps us to come to grips with our own defects. We learn to see ourselves as the Father sees us, through the lens of intense compassion. We can then take pity on ourselves and turn our hearts to the arms of the Father to find safety, security, and comfort.
“There are many who live in the mountains and behave as if they were in the town, and they are wasting their time. It is possible to be solitary in one’s mind while living in a crowd, and it is possible for one who is a solitary to live in the crowd of his own thoughts.” ~ Amma Syncletica
I’ll see you again tomorrow when we explore The Effect of Fasting.
Blessings,
Joshua Hoffert
REFLECTION QUESTIONS
How and when do you resist or avoid being alone?
What tends to pop into your mind when you are alone?
What do you resort to doing when alone?
What troubles you or gives you angst about being alone?
When have you felt most comfortable being alone? Most uncomfortable?
What sense of God do you have when you are alone?