the immobilization of fear
I had a dream a few weeks ago. I was driving a semi-truck with a cargo load to my aunt’s house, which was just down the street from where I grew up. The whole time I was on the phone with my dad and he was giving me directions. I had just driven through a construction zone, but had no recollection of what had happened in the construction zone.
I began to suspect that I had run roughshod through the zone and hit a number of other cars. I got out of the truck and walked back down the road. To my dismay, what I saw was chaos. Cars strewn about, knocked out of the way. Construction vehicles tipped over. All from the semi-truck I had been driving.
Curiously, there were no police. I thought surely I would be held accountable. My license would be revoked, I would go to jail, and I feared that I would never drive again. I was concerned that people had been injured.
A man walked up to me who worked nearby. I asked him if anyone had been injured. The man told me his daughter was in one of the cars. He went on to say that there had been some blood, but no major injuries. I breathed a sigh of relief, but I was left with a sense of dread. Would I ever get to drive again? Would I be able to deliver what I was carrying to my aunt’s house?
Fear has a funny way of working its way through our thought life and embedding itself in how we perceive ourselves and the world. It can immobilize us with thoughts like:
What is going to happen to me and those I care about?
Will I be able to make it through this?
What will they think of me if I do it?
Am I talented enough to accomplish what I desire?
Sometimes, when a prophetic word is released, the immediate impact is to expose the fear in our heart. Even though the word sings the song of our heart, the hope to believe that it will come to pass can seem insurmountable. Perhaps we are afraid to hope again. Or we think we have disqualified ourselves by some past sin still lingering in our conscience.
To cast aside fear and regret…
I was chatting with a friend recently with whom I share a deep fondness for Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings trilogy. We were talking about the story of Theoden, the king of Rohan. Theoden had been hoodwinked by the wizard, Saruman, through the sinister figure, Grima Wormtongue. Theoden has cut off aid from other kingdoms, isolated himself in his hall, and forcibly removed anyone who disagreed with him. He seemingly ages overnight and is barely able to stand up from his throne without assistance.
It is to this setting that Gandalf arrives with an appeal to Theoden: Saruman and Sauron (the very face of evil in the story) are in league and Rohan will be destroyed if Theoden won’t take action. Theoden wants nothing to do with it in his weakened state.
Gandalf challenges Theoden, scolds Grima, and brings Theoden back outside of his hall.
Four things happen to Theoden that re-awakens the call to kingship in his life.
He breathes the free air of the kingdom once again.
He casts aside his prop used for walking.
He holds a sword in his hand.
He casts aside fear and regret.
Theoden’s heart soars and his feeble body is re-invigorated. He is ready to face the challenge ahead and lead his people.
“What is your counsel?” said the king.
“To cast aside regret and fear. To do the deed at hand,” answered Gandalf
When fear and regret grip our hearts and immobilize us, we need the prophetic to remind us of who we are. We need to breathe the free air of the kingdom to bring us back to our senses. We must be reminded of what it feels like to hold the sword of our calling once again. When our lungs fill with freedom and our hands with purpose, casting aside the prop that hindered our walk and the fear and regret weighing down our heart becomes the only path forward.
The barreling tiger
There they are in great fear where no fear was… Psalms 53:5a
One translation renders the above verse “They feared a fear.” If a tiger is barreling down on you, there is something in front of you to fear. When we “fear a fear” what we fear is the hypothetical unknown. In the face of the unknown change a prophetic word can bring into our life, we often react as if there is a tiger in front of us.
When fear of the unknown, or what others will think, or what might change, or how things might fall apart rear their head, rather than pushing those fears away, let them come close to you. They aren’t an actual tiger. Let them judge your heart and expose the very thing you dread.
It is the very thing that holds us back that we must confront in ourselves. That is what the Father is getting at when he reveals himself. It is probably also why he so often begins with “Don’t be afraid…” when he speaks.
When fear springs up ask yourself the following three questions to help get a bearing on what the Father might be revealing:
What is the fear that I am afraid of?
Is this fear valid?
How will this fear hinder my ability to move forward?
The truck driving dream I had was exposing a fear that lingered in my heart: in trying to find my way with everything the Father has given us to carry, have I been too careless and disqualified myself? Have I been careless and left hurt people behind me? Have I missed the window to fulfill the call on my life?
God is addressing my mindset and how I perceive myself. Ultimately, I asked my dad for some insight into the dream. He said, “Well, no police came to arrest you, no one had been seriously injured, and you were on the phone with your dad the whole time receiving instruction. I think God is ok with where you are.”
The Father is just that kind and gracious. It also helps to have a good dad.
If fear and regret are working their way through your life, we are here to help. Comment down below if you are wrestling with fear and regret and we will reach out to you. It is our prayer that you would find strength and courage in the Father to grasp your calling once again.
We have a great affection for each of you and appreciate your prayers and support.
From our family to yours, with deep gratitude.
